“You open the swimsuit button, after which you have time to relax for an hour. Let that belly hang out. ”
Try to imagine. You sit in a cottage by the sea on the Gili Islands in Indonesia with no one around you. Breakfast and air conditioning is included and there are staff who take good care of you. Ideal for waking up slowly around 9am and with your sleep still in your eyes you walk to the small huts that are on the beach. Then your breakfast will be delivered, for which you don’t have to do anything. As long as you pay at the end of the week.
You prepare the coffee and your laptop to look back at your favourite soccer program. The few hairs on your head that you still have are fluttering in the wind. Throw the fresh watermelon in your mouth and roll up your pancake with Nutella. You order one extra, because it is possible and you also slowly slide it in. You open the swimsuit button, after which you have time to take a break for an hour. Let that belly hang.
Because it’s getting hot anyway, you just walk into the sea with such a big, moronic snorkel on your resin. About one minute later you see the turtles chugging along and in the corner of your eye you see the clown fish shooting away in their villa. After this it’s time to relax again. You descend into your beach hut next to your partner and you give her a kiss. You ask if she wants to itch on your back for a second, because you have been so stupid not to smear and burned well. It is now about 11 in the morning and your throat feels as if laminate has just been placed in your mouth. Well be damned, the resort you stay at sells a big Bintang Beer for 2 euros that has been winking at you all day. The beer is delivered and within two minutes you produce some loud burps, because you drank faster than expected.
After drinking a beer and swimming, you often get a bit weary. This gives you the opportunity to doze off for half an hour. It starts with some nodding balls, after which you find it all good and just lie down. When you wake up, with the mucus still on your lip, you dive into the sea and hope not to stand on a stingray. This is probably all going well. You decide to go back into your cabin. You put in your earpods to listen to the wonderful music of Earth, Wind an Fire and U2. With your slightly stiff hips you bounce along to the beat of the music hoping that your back don’t get hurt. Your lady is still sitting next to you with the Grazie and her nut salad with lots of fruit. You order a beer and say that you will see the bill appear later.
“You pay 5 euros and she can dance on your back for an hour. Not that she can do anything about it, but well. “
Half an hour later, an elderly Indonesian woman with a terribly large amount of hair above her lip. She asks if she can give you a massage. Since your girlfriend doesn’t feel like doing this, because you didn’t do it to her, you are all fine with it. You pay 5 euros and she can dance on your back for an hour. Not that she can give a proper massage, ah well. You don’t have to do anything today. So why not give that woman a chance to enjoy your muscular and hairy back?
The afternoon continues, you watch another episode of your favourite series with one eye open, take another dive and kiss your wife. Then the appetite starts to increase and you want to have chips, preferably a lot. Fortunately, you bought four bags on arrival, which gives you a nice stock. With a new Bintang and that bag of natural ribbed chips next to you, you will feel like the king of the island. Just take off your sunglasses to see if all the other girls on the beach are looking at you. You let the chips crumble in your chest hair and don’t care about anything else.
But of course you want more. You have seen that there is a pizzeria a little further away and you tell your wife that she looks like she is very hungry. And whether or not that is the case, you are hungry. So you just go and get three pizzas. Two for you, one for your girl. With one more Bintang in your hand, you can enjoy the beautiful sunset. Meanwhile, while talking with a double tongue, you give your wife a nice compliment about how beautiful she looks in bikini. All this in the hope that you can still have a night full of magic
Around 8 p.m., with your pizza just in your belly, you start to get tired. You ask your partner if she also happens to be very tired. Often this is not the case and she is enjoying this magical moment together. You start to doze off slowly yourself. Nothing is left of that horny feeling you have after four beers and you say that you have to piss. Then your wife wakes you up at 11.00 am with the announcement that she actually wanted to have sex, but that it is no longer necessary. You take it and decide to sleep further. We’ll come back to this tomorrow.
“When you like a woman a lot, you apparently adapt quite nicely and do things you never imagined. And secretly you really like that.
” Then you wake up and lie next to your girlfriend to massage her feet. You suddenly realize that you have been drinking fruit juices all day and ordering açaí bowls. You were left in your cabin, because you were not allowed to go outside because of your burnt back. You haven’t had that old woman’s massage, since your wife doesn’t want others sitting on you. You appear to have gone to bed at 9 p.m. after watching another episode of Gossip Girl, which you suddenly seem to be a great serie. When you like a woman so much, apparently you’re going to adjust nicely and do things you never could have imagined. And secretly you really like that.